Sadie Sadie Married Lady
My apologies for the several week hiatus. Between the two family weddings, and our own, I’ve scarcely had time to share with you my gentle readers my latest adventure in M to the third power, M cubed, (Muscles, Money and Mayhem).
I got married.
Really; license, boutonnieres matching outfits and all.
It started a few months ago with the Supreme Court striking down Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, passed during the Clinton Administration and signed by President Clinton (even though he didn’t have to sign it…and did NOT sign many laws that went into effect, but that’s another story he’ll have to answer to later..trust me) But back to the marriage. You see, married couples, heteros up to now, could transfer wealth at death in such vehicles (I love to use the word vehicles in sentences like this with no cars or movement involved) as life insurance, personal property such as homes owned jointly with NO FEDERAL TAXES levied.
That was the the basis of the Windsor v. IRS ruling. Edie Windsor was legally to her spouse, her spouse passed away, and because she and her spouse were both women, the IRS levied a $300,000.00 tax bill on her for the joint property they had paid for while married. If one of them had a penis and the other a vagina, the tax bill would have been $0.00. While my husband and I wouldn’t be on the hook for that much, my attraction to male pheremones and big biceps would have put either of us in a trailer park if one of us died.
So with the end of DOMA and the IRS ruling that same sex couples married anywhere could file jointly and be recognized as legal heirs in the eyes of the Federal Taxation Rules, I texted my partner of ten years and said, “Babe, we should get married while we are in California just in case something happens to one of us” He texted back “Sure” and the romance was on.
Turns out you can apply for your marriage license and schedule your ceremony all online for California weddings. There is but a 30 minute waiting period between getting your license and having the ceremony in California. Some states have up to a five day ‘cooling off’ period; I guess in California thirty minutes is all you need to get rid of your regrets.
But back to me, I mean us, since now we are legally married in the eyes of the IRS, California and the other 13 states and District of Columbia.
The wedding ceremony was wonderful, brief, successful (we had all the papers on the first try) and cost $77 bucks. That being said, the rest of this blog has to do with how it feels, at least for me, to be married.
While it is just a piece of paper, and love goes way beyond that, right? Well, no it does not. It really feels different. I no longer have to say, “my partner” and then go on to explain that its not a business partner but life partner and then feel compelled to add how long we’ve been together, how long we’ve owned a home, how and where we met; you get the picture. All I say now is that we are married and this is my husband. Period. A terrific shortcut I might add.
I feel more equal to my hetero married friends now, as it should be since I didn’t get a discount on my taxes for sucking dick. Whether they look at me differently now, I can’t say; but most of them seem genuinely excited for us and to tell the truth, it spills back over to us. Excited and gratified, relieved and comforting, it does make a difference.
So to the cynics out there who say marriage is a dead institution, I give them this. Anything that can make a tired old queen like me cry and then feel good about himself; and didn’t involve a mental health copay is no small feat. I love my husband, my marriage license and moving toward all 1138 rights that ALL married couples should have.
Here come the grooms.